Just Can't Live A Lie
by cookie-dough
Summary: One shot song fic


Title: Just Can't Live A Lie 

Author: Mel / cookie dough

Disclaimer: As always, I don't own any of the One Tree Hill characters or anything else to do with the show, but you guys already knew that. I also do not own the song "I Just Can't Live A Live" by Carrie Underwood, or Sheryl Crow's "If It Makes You Happy" all songs belong to their rightful owners.

AN: This is my first ever Naley, I'm a diehard Laley fan, but this idea just popped into my head and won't leave, so here's hoping you all like this one-parter. I'd love to hear what you guys think, as I've never written these characters together before. Song lyrics and flashbacks are in italics.

_Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you _

_And maybe turning my back would be that much easier_

_Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange_

_But I can't watch you walk away_

Haley rounded the corner of the Tree Hill High corridor, around her students milled about in the spare moments before the bell rang. When she looked up from the ground, a place her eyes had found themselves a little too frequently since returning to Tree Hill, she abruptly came to a halt. Nathan was reaching into his locker, exchanging one set of books for another, and dumping them into his bag. Haley had been back for a few weeks now, yet she and Nathan had barely spoken, though not through a lack of trying on her behalf. He always had an excuse, practice or the guys were waiting for him, and when they had spoken, it usually led to Nathan assigning the blame. In all honesty the reason his words had hurt her so much, was because they were true. She had left, not only them but also their marriage. After everything they had been through this last year, the criticism they had encountered, that they had married too young, and for all the wrong reasons. If they could survive that, they could survive anything, or so they thought. She didn't know what she could do to make things right, after all she had returned to Tree Hill because she loved him, and couldn't see the rest of her life without him. She wanted things to return to what they once were, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fool herself into thinking that they could just pick up where they left off. And she thought back to their last conversation.

_She had just left the tutoring centre, late one evening. She swung her bag onto her shoulder and heard the door closing softly behind her; looking up, she was surprised to see Nathan right in front of her._

"_Sorry." He said gruffly, as he tried to manoeuvre himself around her._

"_Nathan wait." He crossed his arms, impatiently waiting for her to continue._

"_What?"_

"_I miss you."_

"_Tell me something I don't know. That's all I ever hear from you, that you're sorry and you want to go back to the way things were."_

"_I know that we can't just pick up where we left off, but…" Haley stopped a little taken back by Nathan's sudden and abrasive interruption._

"_You're damn right we can't. You left Haley. What was I suppose to do, huh? Sit around and wait for your tour to breeze into town? I came to see you, but you chose the music over me, you chose Chris over me."_

_Haley opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off once again._

"_I've heard it all, and I'm tired of it." He replied calmly. He shook his head, and walked around her disappearing into the gym._

Always and forever huh? Right now she would settle for five minutes where they could act as if nothing had happened, or at least attempt to talk about their relationship without assigning blame. She was jostled from her thoughts by the busy student body, she was so out of it, she hadn't even heard the bell, and when she looked up, Nathan was staring at her. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could even form the words he had disappeared into the crowd. She needed to speak to him, she needed to get things out in the open, she needed her husband back. So she resolved to go to his house, where he couldn't escape her, and she would tell him everything. All the things she wanted to say, all the things she couldn't say, she would say it all, because that's what marriage was about, being able to tell the person you love anything.

_Could I forget about the way it feels to touch you _

_And all about the good times that we've been through_

_Could I wake up without you every day_

_And would I let you walk away_

_No I can't learn to live without_

_And I can't give up on us now_

Haley knocked on the door of the Scott residence, she could only hope that it wouldn't be answered by Dan. The man who had treated his sons like crap, and condemned their marriage to failure was the last person she wanted to see. She knew what would happen, he would be all smiles and sunshine, and then hit her with the cold hard truth, and he would take pride in the fact that he had caused her discomfort. That was the thing about Dan, he lived for the pain he could inflict upon others, and Haley thought back to a time where she believed that Nathan was just like his father. The pain he had put Lucas through during his first few weeks on the team was proof of that. But she had realised something during those tutoring sessions, Nathan wasn't a thing like his father, she saw a side to him she never thought possible. She smiled fondly at the memories they had made together.

"_So, if you could only do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?" Haley asked him._

_They were at the park one Sunday afternoon, a blanket spread out beneath them, as they lay in each other's arms, staring up at the warm afternoon sky._

"_This." He replied smiling._

"_Really, that's kinda corny don't ya think. Besides, I might be busy." Haley said with a smile._

"_I never said the girl would be you." He joked, which caused Haley to playfully punch him._

"_Ouch." He said rubbing his chest._

"_It better be." He laughed, pulling her closer to him. They were quiet for a moment; Haley snuggled closer to him, enjoying the warmth._

"_Promise me something Hales?"_

"_Sure."_

"_Promise me we won't end up like my parents."_

"_What rich? I'll see what I can do." They both laughed._

"_You know what I mean." He added once they had settled again._

"_Yeah, I know. Promise." And they snuggled closer together._

She couldn't live her life on memories, she need to be with him. She had made a deal with herself. No matter how hard things got, or how much Nathan made her feel like she had made the wrong decision in returning, she wouldn't give up.

_Oh I know I could say we're through _

_And tell myself I'm over you_

_But even if I made a vow_

_A promise not to miss you now_

_And try to hide the truth inside_

_I fail cause I _

_Just can't live a lie_

Nathan walked the corridors of Tree Hill high, after a summer at High Fliers, he was ready to take on whatever life threw at him. Everything that is, apart from Haley. With school starting up again, his plan of avoidance was rapidly becoming flawed. He knew that he would eventually have to see her, their lockers were next to each other, the probability of them sharing some of the same classes was high, and it was just his luck that something else would throw them together, or someone. He rounded the corner to his locker; he knew it would only be a matter of time. Not only did he have to see her, but she was with his brother. They looked happy, like they did before all of this happened. When it was just the two of them. Well that's great, let them go back to that, he thought. Things were over between him and Haley now, she could do what she wanted, he didn't care, he had made the decision not to take her back, to ignore her, and it suited him down to the ground. But then why did he feel like this? A sudden urge to want things back the way they were, maybe it was seeing her with Lucas, that reminded him of when they first started out.

_They walked along the pier hand in hand. It was November and the chill in the air made Haley pull her jacket closer. Seeing her actions, their hands broke apart, and Nathan put his arm around her, pulling her close. _

"_You know, one of these days you're gonna have to let me here you sing."_

"_Really?" she smiled. "And why is that again?"_

"_Because, Lucas said you're really good, but you know what his taste in music is like."_

"_Thanks." She replied sarcastically._

"_Don't mention it." He smiled, as they continued to walk._

"_I'm serious you know, I'd love to hear you sing."_

"_Well play your cards right Mr and who knows." She said seductively, leaning in to kiss him. They broke apart smiling._

"_You wanna hear me sing?" Nathan asked proudly._

"_Hmm from what I've heard, I don't think my ears could take it." She laughed._

"_Thanks."_

"_Don't mention it." She replied using his earlier comeback._

"_I'll have you know, I can harmonise with the best of them." Haley looked at him disbelievingly._

_He suddenly started singing very loudly and, to Haley's dismay, very badly._

"_If it makes you happy! It can't be that ba-ah-ah-aad! If it makes you happyyyyyyyyy! Then why the hell are you so sad! If it…"_

"_Oh God, don't ever do that again." She laughed, as people around them looked on in horror._

"_I thought you liked Sheryl Crow?"_

"_Lets just say I might be rethinking that decision." They both laughed._

The laughing echoed through his memory until it disappeared altogether. He watched as Lucas and Haley put their books into their bags and after shutting their lockers, placed a friendly arm around each other and headed off down the corridor. The truth was, he missed her and he wasn't sure how long he could go on lying.

_Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me_

_And all the reasons that make loving you so easy_

_The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe_

_The way you know just what I mean_

_No I can't learn to live without_

_So don't you give up on us now_

Nathan stood in front of the hoop, the ball in his hands. He had been bouncing it across the court ready to take the shot, when suddenly he found himself staring at the net. When had things become so complicated? He missed the time in his life when basketball had all the answers, and never any problems. It was just him and the game, no Dan, no Lucas, no Haley, nothing could get to him, and here he was, standing there in front of the hoop, as if waiting for an answer to drop out of the sky, but nothing happened, it just moved gently in the breeze. Things would have been so much easier if he had never met Haley James, or so he tried to convince himself. He wouldn't be married with a divorce on the way before he even left high school, maybe he would still get along with both parents, maybe they never would have split up, maybe he would have got knocked down by a bus, maybe, maybe, maybe. He was tired of maybes, for once in his life he wanted a simple yes or no. And that had arrived with Haley's choice to leave. But now she was back, and yes or no flew out the window, and all he was left with were maybes. He tried to picture her without the hurt, and to his surprise over the last few weeks, he could see the good times as well as the bad. There were so many things he tried to forget about when she left, but try as he might, they always lingered.

_It was a Sunday morning, and Nathan awoke to find Haley sleeping soundly in his arms. He smiled, he could lie there all day and watch her, but she soon stirred, looking up to find him staring at her. She smiled up at him._

"_Morning." She said softly, as she stretched her arms lazily above her._

"_Morning." He smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear._

"_How long have you been awake?"_

"_Not long." He replied, still staring at her._

"_What?" she asked, a confused smile spread across her features._

"_I was just thinking how lucky I am, that I get to do this everyday."_

_She reached up, and pulled him down for a sweet kiss._

"_Me too." She replied, snuggling closer to him, her arm draped across his bare chest._

"_It's gonna be so easy Hales."_

"_What is?"_

"_Us."_

_He leaned down to kiss her again, and she giggled as they pulled the blankets up over their heads._

In the end, basketball had become like everyone in his life, it had let him down. Where were his answers? He aimed the ball, and took the shot, but it bounced off the backboard and ricocheted back at him, loudly banging against the court as he watched it pass. He was going to make a deal with himself, no matter how hard things got, or how much Lucas ragged on him about Haley, he would sort things out one way or another. He wouldn't make a decision until he had carefully thought everything through, because it wasn't just some high school crush he was dealing with, it was his marriage. He decided the next time he saw Haley, he would attempt to talk things through with her, he didn't want to become like his parents, he and Haley had promised each other that wouldn't happen. And it was at that moment that he realised that if he wanted his marriage to work, they would both have to have a hand in it, which meant taking some of the blame.

_Oh I know I can say we're through _

_And tell myself I'm over you_

_But even if I made a vow_

_A promise not to miss you now_

_And try to hide the truth inside_

_I fail cause I_

_Just can't live a lie_

Haley waited at the door, but there was no answer. She knocked again, and waited, but there was still no reply. She turned and made her way down the path, when she heard the unmistakeable sound of a basketball hitting the ground. She slowly walked around the side of the house, and stopped when she saw Nathan staring up at the hoop. She was there. She hadn't made a sound, but somehow he knew she was there. He slowly turned to face her, and she gave him a sad smile. "Nathan, we need to talk." "I know." He said, Haley tried to hide her shock, and her excitement, as the pair disappeared into the house. It was decision time.

_And try to hide the truth inside _

_I fail cause I _

_Just can't live a lie_

End


End file.
